Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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