'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
wow bdsm is so cute
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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