I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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