It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
