My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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