That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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