We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Sober January is a disaster.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
