ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
