Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
