do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
