So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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