i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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