You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
