I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
