Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
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