Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
sex in a hospital.. check
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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