if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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