You're so nebulous sometimes
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I looked at my own cervix.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
