After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
