Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
