Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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