If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize