i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
