Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize