dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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