very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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