It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
