just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
