ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
our cab driver is having phone sex.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
