dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
