Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize