"it" just moved
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
