This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize
