I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
