you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
