i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
