I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
