so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize