Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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