Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
we're making bets on your personal life
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
