I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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