I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
