arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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