i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just want nice things and good sex
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize
