But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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