Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
