I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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