i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
