Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
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