best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
