People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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