plz talk dirty to me
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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