he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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