We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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