I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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