So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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