it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
