he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
