Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
