If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
