When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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