Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You ate ashes out of my bong
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
