and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
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