You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
